Because I couldn't wait to share this. Because doing this work fills my heart up and brings me joy and allows me to see the Divine. Because I spent the day in soul-filling company and in the sunshine and in the forest along the water. Because this is the work I dream of. Because -
This is my gratitude splayed wide open.
It does my heart good to sit down and make these monthly films. December was good to me - snow days, safe travels, "digging" for gemstones with the boys, a cranky old horse who half-heartedly tried to buck me off (not featured, but it won't hurt my feelings if you're amused while envisioning it), cracking up with my sisters, Nerf guns, a happy chicken, and a bonfire.
We traveled home for Thanksgiving...2 of the 4 days were solid driving, but lord, it was worth it. This is a smorgasbord of all that went on - gathering around good food, celebrating Chris' and Dad's birthdays, tree climbing, puppies, dogs, chickens, and loading cedar logs. You know, the usual when you go home to Southwest Missouri.
In October, I decided to sign up for an online filmmaking workshop with Everyday Films. And while it isn't perfect and I've critiqued it a million times, my final project makes me all emotional and means so much to me because it is the now of my life. It is my beautiful, imperfect, good, good life. And I am so grateful for it and for this new medium of expression.
I realize it probably sounds cliche to say this, but every birth changes me. Every birth.
It was so powerful and so beautiful to watch Katie labor. The trust and confidence she had in her body. The calm, the centering. Her labor was so instinctual and full of trust. Her husband there, quietly attentive, reading and anticipating her needs. Her mamma there, so supportive and calm and strong. I think Katie drew so much strength from the energy and unyielding support they brought. And her midwife and nurse created such a nurturing environment.
Labor responds to love and gentleness and support and quiet knowing. Consider the people in your life who intuitively know how to create the environment you need during birth. Because you'll never forget how you felt during this time. And if you're in need of a doula or labor support, please reach out to me.
Wise women have said to me -
Lean into the thing that calls to you.
The desires of your heart are there for a reason they tell me.
And I believe these things.
It doesn't mean there hasn't been resistance. Because there has been.
Because pursuing something of this magnitude means giving up some order. Giving up control.
But not responding to the gentle insistence felt way down deep became heavier than the courage it took to ask for this.
I feel deeply called to do this work.
So, here I am.
And I am changed. On a cellular level. My heart walking around in my hand as I watch each story unfold. These feel like some of the most important photos I have ever taken.
If you would like to have your birth story documented, please reach out to me. I'll be taking a limited number of clients for the remainder of 2018.